Back to reality.

R and R. Rest and relaxation. In other words, best two weeks of my life. Sadly, it ends today. We were blessed enough to have a break from the reality of this awful year long deployment. But I could never have prepared myself for how hard it would be to say goodbye the second time around. If anybody ever tells you " every deployment gets easier" then they are sadly mistaken. It's never easy to send your husband, daddy, and protector of this house off to sleep in the desert alone for months at a time. As much as my heart was hurting, I couldn't imagine what his must have  felt like. He was walking away from two beautiful little girls who don't stop growing just because he is gone. He had to walk away knowing that next time he sees Sophia she will be a "pre-schooler."  He had no choice put to strap up his boots and walk away from his home and his family for the remanding 6 months and head to a land of hatred. I walked away with our babies and came back to our house. I was able to drive thru dunkin donuts and eat breakfast with the girls. I was able to come home and lay in bed and watch TV. All things that we take for granted. Although I still had to send the love of my life off to war, I would not have had the strength and courage to leave my family. And that is why he is my hero. Watching such a strong man have a rare moment of weakness, is something that pulls at my heartstrings. Watching him bit his lower lip and fight back tears as he kisses his girls goodbye was more then I could take. Knowing that he is starting a week long journey of traveling and sleeping on the ground in random countries is horrifying to me. It amazes me the things he can do. I try to put myself in his boots but I cant possibly imagine the things he does. I love that man.

Saying goodbye to Sophia... 

saying goodbye to Lulu...

Until next time baby....

So here I am. Back to my reality.

Dear Lord,

Give me the greatness of heart to see the difference between duty and his love for me. Give me understanding that I may know, when duty calls him he must go. Give me a task to do each day, to fill the time when he's away. And Lord, when he's in a foreign land, keep him safe in your loving hand. And Lord, when duty is in the field, please protect him and be his shield. And Lord, when deployment is so long, please stay with me and keep me strong. Amen.